No purpose in mind

Unlike my other articles, this has no purpose. It’s just the collection of some thoughts in my head. There was no reason why I thought about this or why I wrote it.

What does a person want? All of us have an ultimate calling that we search throughout our lives, and for most of us the search bears no fruit. The flow of our lives ends being dictated by the need to be a part of the rat race rather than being dictated by us. There are two breeds of “smart” people that are able to conclude their search. One consists of those who give up and accept the fate of an existence within the rat race, and the other of those who’re fortunate enough to find their “purpose” in life. The most unfortunate souls are those who realize that they want to find their calling but keep struggling with little or no success. Well for now, I fall into this category. If you fall into either of the first two categories then don’t read – this won’t make any sense to you.

There might be loads of situations where we are confused about a choice. There seem to be two paths, each with its pros and cons but each equally enticing. And more often than not the pros of a choice are the cons of the other. What makes us inclined towards both? After all we’re humans - supposedly the most intelligent species. Well according to me, it’s this intelligence that causes the dual wants. I could think of no better illustration of this than the movie “The Mask”. Don’t go “huh?” just yet. What the movie depicted was quite brilliant. It showcased the fact that our brain is intelligent enough to process two alter egos and that’s not a small feat. Stanley Ipkiss and the Mask was the same person [the superhuman abilities of mask put aside]. Our brain is able to process the same options from two different perspectives. You might even from the perspective of two different individuals. Individuals with different wants, different goals and different approaches to this journey called life.

Personally, I have chosen to accept this duality of life with an alter ego approach. I call him Maverick. Harsh is the nice guy who appreciates all the people existing in his life, fights in the rat race hoping to win it someday, and makes sure that he has a smile on his face when he greets the people around him [professional/social commitments after all] no matter how crappy he may be feeling. Maverick on the other hand appreciates his friends and family only, knows he’s capable of moving above the rat race and conquer his dreams, and isn’t two faced with what he feels. The only thing probably common in them is the love for my family. It’s not like they have different goals in mind, after all their eventual goal is my happiness. Their approach is what differentiates them. They each define different paths and different sets of intermediate goals to their eventual aim.

Well therein lays the fact that makes the third category of people the unfortunate souls they become. Unfortunate not becomes they are miserable/unhappy/dying for attention, but unfortunate because their confused. And this confusion is the biggest deterrent to them achieving either of their goals. The contradictory wants end up diminishing the success possible on either of the paths. You never truly take a path because you’re unsure and English has enough axioms that prove that success is not possible if you’re on contradictory paths.

Unlike my other articles, there are no suggestions or solutions for this. I am myself caught up in the struggle to understand myself.