Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Hmmm – the most useless word in the English dictionary
I really want to find and beat up the guy that added the word [/sound] hmmm to the English dictionary. It adds nothing to a conversation at the same time signifying nothing. It could mean the person is just trying to grasp what you say, but more often than not just means the other person has nothing to contribute to the current discussion and wants you to either change the topic [without the other person contribution to the change, lazy as he/she is] or end the conversation. Repeated usages have caused more conversation to be ruined than any other word in the English dictionary. I just hate that word.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Doesn’t work automatically
Through our lives we share a diverse set of relationships with even a more diverse set of individuals. Some based out of the roles that we play [son, daughter, brother, sister, colleague, classmate, husband, wife] and some because of who we are [friends, partners, lovers]. The later are relationships we choose, relationships that are not bound by constraints of society; relationships that work because we want them to work and fail the day we stop caring.
The sad part of life is that the second set of relationships are the most difficult to maintain. You can play the role of a perfect sibling without thinking twice, it comes naturally. But to play the role of a meaningful and caring friend requires you to question “Is the person worth it?” These questions get even tougher when the relationship involved is that of a partner. The person is evaluated on everything at every occasion. Till the relationship moves from the second set to the first, it just keeps demanding more and more effort. And all it takes is one mistake, one inconsiderate thought, one act of indiscretion and months and even years of good deeds seem so insignificant. It’s really sad to see something so beautiful be so fragile.
Sometimes it’s not a mistake. It’s just lack of communication. Whether it’s between friends or between partners, most relationships fall through simple because they don’t spend enough time being a part of the others life. Distances, lifestyles, new people, current priorities etc are just some of the things that can contribute towards the spiral of a relationship towards its eventual doom. Not spending enough time letting the other know “hey I care about you? I care about how you’re doing.” has been the biggest reasons for the best of relationships to drift apart. None of us have time, with our busy schedules it’s impossible for even think about fitting others in our lives, isn’t it. It’s not that hard, try it.
“Partner” is probably the most beautiful relationship amongst the lot. It’s most enchanting part being the fact that it belongs in the second set, the fact that we are in this not because we have to be, but because we want to be. There are couples who are partners first, and spouses later. According to me, that is the best way to be. Every day or every thought might not give you a reason to be together, but every breath taking moment and every cherished memory should. Just like the world keeps hurling reasons at individuals for them to fail, there is no shortage of reasons for relationships to fail in this world either. They take a lot of effort but therein lay the reason for their existence – “because they’re worth it”
That also has a counterpart. What happens when you ask yourself “Is the other person worth it?” and can’t seem to get a positive answer. Some relationships are not meant to be, it’s better to let them die. But what’s important is to judge correctly whether the relationship is worth fighting for. To judge beyond current circumstances [which are as interim as the life span of a gastrotich], beyond current distances. Each relationship is beautiful and special, and one should only be put to rest if it’s truly beyond restoration and beyond resurrection. But the day a relationship reaches there, it’s time to let it go.
The sad part of life is that the second set of relationships are the most difficult to maintain. You can play the role of a perfect sibling without thinking twice, it comes naturally. But to play the role of a meaningful and caring friend requires you to question “Is the person worth it?” These questions get even tougher when the relationship involved is that of a partner. The person is evaluated on everything at every occasion. Till the relationship moves from the second set to the first, it just keeps demanding more and more effort. And all it takes is one mistake, one inconsiderate thought, one act of indiscretion and months and even years of good deeds seem so insignificant. It’s really sad to see something so beautiful be so fragile.
Sometimes it’s not a mistake. It’s just lack of communication. Whether it’s between friends or between partners, most relationships fall through simple because they don’t spend enough time being a part of the others life. Distances, lifestyles, new people, current priorities etc are just some of the things that can contribute towards the spiral of a relationship towards its eventual doom. Not spending enough time letting the other know “hey I care about you? I care about how you’re doing.” has been the biggest reasons for the best of relationships to drift apart. None of us have time, with our busy schedules it’s impossible for even think about fitting others in our lives, isn’t it. It’s not that hard, try it.
“Partner” is probably the most beautiful relationship amongst the lot. It’s most enchanting part being the fact that it belongs in the second set, the fact that we are in this not because we have to be, but because we want to be. There are couples who are partners first, and spouses later. According to me, that is the best way to be. Every day or every thought might not give you a reason to be together, but every breath taking moment and every cherished memory should. Just like the world keeps hurling reasons at individuals for them to fail, there is no shortage of reasons for relationships to fail in this world either. They take a lot of effort but therein lay the reason for their existence – “because they’re worth it”
That also has a counterpart. What happens when you ask yourself “Is the other person worth it?” and can’t seem to get a positive answer. Some relationships are not meant to be, it’s better to let them die. But what’s important is to judge correctly whether the relationship is worth fighting for. To judge beyond current circumstances [which are as interim as the life span of a gastrotich], beyond current distances. Each relationship is beautiful and special, and one should only be put to rest if it’s truly beyond restoration and beyond resurrection. But the day a relationship reaches there, it’s time to let it go.
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